A[tipp]ical Thoughts

An Angry Open Letter to CBS

Dear CBS, Tony Directors/Producers, and the original and current cast of RENT,

I have a major grievance to air. For about a month now, you CBS, have been teasing me with reports of an original cast reunion of RENT on this year’s Tony Awards. Mae and Rosy and I jumped for joy. We vowed not to miss it. We knew this was a fabulous ploy to get all Rentheads to tune into this year’s edition, that alone should have boosted your ratings. We toyed with the idea of having a Tony’s party, but dismissed the idea on the grounds of it being Father’s Day. So, at home, I sat for hours in great anticipation of seeing and hearing the cast perform.

Insert Exhibit A: My Twitter panel from 7:00-9:35 CST 6/15/08.

• Anthony Rapp is beautiful.

• Might wrestle the remote from Hubby’s hands if he flips to the NBA finals ONE MORE TIME!

• Thoroughly confused by the whole concept of Xanadu. Will not be wanting to see that anytime soon.

• I don’t give a flip about Xanadu. I want RENT! C’mon Tonys!

• If the cast of RENT doesn’t come on soon, I may die.

• Love Kristin Chenoweth. “POP-u-Lar. I know about Pop-u-LAR!”

• So freakin’ excited about seeing the original cast of RENT. Bring out my man Anthony Rapp!

• Watching the Tony Awards!

Obviously, I was with you. Obviously, I was a faithful viewer the entire night (except for a few moments of flipping to the NBA Finals when Hubby commandeered the remote control against my will.)

First of all, you had us wait until the very last moments of the show until we were rewarded for our impatience  eager anticipation. I literally squealed with delight after each commercial in hopes that this was, in fact, the moment when it would all come together. But no, we were continually dragged down every single performance of the current and past shows of Broadway. You showed all the old highlights, heck, you even found the footage of Madonna thoroughly embarrassing herself years ago. If only I had known you were wasting such precious time.

Sidenote: Whoopi was very funny in all the montages. She was the only thing that didn’t make me want to hunt each of you down and shake you for making me wait so long.

Secondly, you gave an entire EIGHT minute spot to the cast of Xanadu.

What were you thinking?! Aside from the fact that this is the most bizarre show ever created I can appreciate a little lesson in diversity, but EIGHT whole minutes? Lily Tomlin took up five minutes just trying to introduce the stupid segment. I reluctantly muddled through. Obviously, I didn’t want to miss the performance I rushed home from my Dad’s Father’s Day dinner to see. (Yes, I did. Now you see why I am so irritated.)

Finally, the moment had arrived. I sat in front of my TV eagerly anticipating the moment of greatness. I could have cried. I almost did. Anthony Rapp is awesome (see above Tweet). Though he stumbled a little, I get it – nerves take over. After all, it is The Tonys and you had been advertising this montage as the biggest part of the show for weeks. He felt the pressure. He is still great. What I did not expect was the current cast of RENT on stage singing La Vie Boheme. Now, don’t get me wrong, I love them and appreciate the entire cast. I stood for over two hours in Times Square on Christmas Eve in 20-something degree weather on the slight chance of scoring RENT tickets. (The fact that I got third row seats is not important at this time, the point is I did it without any guarantees) I saw them, they were fabulous. Some of them even spit on me. Yeah. Good times.

Exhibit B: Picture of me being a crazy Renthead.

But I digress. The fact that the current cast seemed to get more time and coverage when the big shebang was to be for the original cast is inexcusable. I mostly wanted to see the originals. You had, I repeat, been harping on them for oh, about a month now, right?! They got a few lines each and one verse of Seasons of Love which they shared with the original cast?!

HELLO?! Am I the only one feeling jilted here? There was NOT enough of RENT, original or current!

Now, original cast members, I realize you are all busy leading fabulous lives and are crazy over-committed but I need some answers. Idina, between a new singing career and Taye you are more than busy, I get it. But, I wanted to see you as Maureen. Daphane, I realize that since your new-found fame a la your speaking part in the Sex and the City movie you are big stuff and all, but I wanted a little Out Tonight and some blue pants, even if it was just a chorus or two. Adam, you look just like you did ten years ago, I will let you slide. Anthony, you are my favorite. Freddie, your hitting the high note was the highlight for me. You go. And Jesse L. Martin, where were you? I was majorly disappointed you weren’t there. I need a good excuse. There’d better be a good excuse! Obviously, Law & Order wasn’t holding you hostage and the network wasn’t giving you grief, so what gives? And Wilson J. Heredia I am little worried about you. You need to eat something.

Sigh.

I am still in huge infatuation with RENT and Anthony Rapp. In another life where he is straight and I am single we will tango away together. (Just kidding, Hubby-not really!) I am still a Renthead. I am thankful to have gotten the little taste of excellence that I did. But, next time CBS, if your meager attempt at boosting your ratings ever causes me such heartbreak again I may have to take drastic action and forever boycott your programing (though let’s be real giving up Survivor, Big Brother, and Ghost Whisperer has not yet proved to have been that difficult). Take it to heart CBS, you have been warned.

All-in-all, I am a thoroughly discontented Broadway lover tonight. Seriously, get your act together!

Renheads everywhere thank you.

Sincerely,

Tipp Rapp