Tales From the Cul-de-sac Part I

April 30, 2008 at 8:49 pm | Posted in Thoughts | 24 Comments
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So the last time you all got a peek at my neighborhood, you met all the eclectic characters that will surely keep us all entertained. The antics in this part of the world never cease to amaze me.

  • Tuesday morning I was late to work. Oversleep? No. No Alarm? No. Unable to find the correct ensemble? Okay, maybe, but that was not the reason. I ran out the door, keys in hand, water in tow, open the garage door, and low and behold I am trapped. I am literally barricaded in my driveway by an ambulance and a police car. I turned into a neighbor reminiscent of a Desperate Housewives crazy person and decided to hang out and see what all the commotion was at the neighbor’s house. Might I just say that this is the second time in about a month that the po-po (yes, I said that) has camped out on my end of the street. Seems that little boy next door has gotten a tad bit too good at running away and the police have been called to chase him down a number of times. The kid is back at home. Not sure why they needed an ambulance. If I had run away my dad probably would have requested an ambulance too due to the severe beating I would have endured upon my return home. Perhaps they were just being proactive.
  • Just yesterday I returned home to a ladder leaning against my tree on the adjoining property side of the little delinquents. I was intrigued. I sat out on my back deck to “read” with my chair curiously turned toward those little rug rats waiting to see what they were up to. Apparently they had decided to chase a squirrel out of my tree and trap it against the brick of their home in a cardboard box. Something tells me that they were not wanting to take it to school for show and tell. As I began to picture the horrible fate that most likely was awaiting this little animal, I see the dad step in and proceed to scream at them at the top of his lungs, ” Are you crazy, it could have rabies!” Seriously? Yeah, that was the reason to let the poor thing go. I am starting to understand why these kids are acting this way. I am shuddering every time I see them. They remind me of the scary kid from Toy Story 2 who dismembered all the toys. Scary.
  • I saw the neighbor who you all think is running a meth lab. This is the first sighting of her in 2.5 years! I really did not think she existed! She was weeding her front lawn. The no-grass present front lawn. She was out there for about five minutes.
  • The neighbor who mows his one acre yard with the John Deere tractor has broken it out twice in the past week. Sometimes he rides it down the road just to turn around and bring it back. I find this very interesting. Hubby says it is like his sports car. Apparently he is nursing a mid-life crisis-country style. Yee-haw.
  • Neighbor up the street, next door neighbors to the delinquents, has a flapping problem. The siding is falling off of the house in the back and it is keeping us up when it is windy. We will begin a count of the days to see how long it takes them to fix it. My guess is this could go years. Seriously, years. Years, because we never see them either. I think they are afraid of the delinquents and refuse to come out.
  • We also have a war brewing. A serious war. Everytime Hubby mows our lawn, delinquent dad next door decides to mow his the very next day. I am literally talking hours people. It was like a weird self-control thing that he has to have the shorter grass. Hubby, being the fun-loving guy that he is, decides to mess with him and literally mows the lawn three times last week, just to see what happens. This man breaks out his lawn mower every single time to make his grass 1cm shorter than ours. As if that is not enough, he breaks out the blower to blow the clippings into my yard. Whatever, I call it fertilizer. People are hysterical.

Since I made all of you love Nashvegas too, don’t ya wanna come visit and spy on the neighbors with me? Come on ya know ya wanna. There is more than enough bloggy material to go around. Seriously, come and see me.

We could have fun!

Little Momma Update

April 23, 2008 at 7:43 am | Posted in Family | 13 Comments
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Apparently all I need to help with kitty is a yodeling cucumber.

Hubby has been singing this over and over to the Little Momma, sans yodeling, and it will not get out of my head!

So update on Little Momma. Took her to the trusty vet yesterday where she was a big hit with the staff there. And no, my vet does not yodel either! He says for her condition she looks like everything should go well. She is only eight pounds with probably four little babies in tow, so she is teeny and has a lot of catching up to do for such a little girl. She is hopefully a year old, but I have my doubts, she looks like a baby herself.

Lily acts as though she isn’t really here, Ellie is very curious. Kitty is tolerating them both, and they are growing on each other. The vet says that it could be today or within the week. She is still eating and not really “nesting” yet, so Hubby and I think it will be a few days. She did raise a few eyebrows last night when she started doing some crazy panting. Turns out she was just hot.
 

Thanks for all of your fabulous birthing tips! I am sure when the moment comes I will turn into Prissy from Gone With the Wind and run away screaming, “I don’t know nothing bout birthin babies kittens” leaving Mrs. Lilac alone. I promise I will try not to!

I’ve Got Answers Part One.

April 21, 2008 at 4:20 pm | Posted in Just for fun | 14 Comments
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Wow, I was so overwhelmed with all of you curious cats out there! You guys came up with some great questions so here we go with Part Uno of this look into my life.

1. Submitted by SleepyJane and EP

“What is the most embarrasing thing that has happened to you? EVER?”

When I was in High School I was a JV cheerleader the year that my brother was a Senior football player. I was the Captain of the JV squad and I was responsible for helping the girl who was the Captain of the Varsity squad plan and prepare for the pep rallies.

She came up with this great idea to “roast” the Senior football players at the Homecoming pep rally by having a Varsity cheerleader dress-up in the guys’ jersey, pads, and helmet and “perform” as the Senior guy to a song specifically picked out for them that was kind of autobiographical of them. It was such a cute idea and I was all for it. That was until I learned that there were only ten Varsity cheerleaders and eleven Senior football players. Since my brother was one of the Senior players it was quickly mandated that I would be the one to “play” him on the day of the pep rally.

So, they picked an “autobiographical song” they hoped to best represent each of the guys. The redneck cowboy got a Garth Brooks song. The hip-hop lover got something by Coolio like Gangsta’s Paradise. You get the idea.

Well, my brother was one of the shortest on the football team and so I got to “perform” to the great song (sarcasm implied) by Skee-Lo that went something like this:

I wish I was little bit taller,
I wish I was a baller
I wish I had a girl who looked good
I would call her
I wish I had a rabbit in a hat with a bat
and a ’64 Impala

I had to walk out in front of the whole student body as the only JV cheerleader and pretend to be my brother and free-style dance to this song. I am pretty sure that there was some butter-flying involved.

As if this wasn’t embarrassing enough, his helmet was so big I couldn’t see out of it and it kept falling down over my eyes. I myself am very short – 5’1″ to be exact – and having to wear a huge jersey with full pads, coupled with a way to big helmet and my legs sticking out the bottom because I was in my cheerleader skirt, well, let’s just say I was a sight! I looked nothing like my brother, more like something out of a really bad high school football movie meets alien invasion.

It is a wonder that I made it out in front of the crowd and was able to stay on my feet. I was so mortified. My brother loved it though and they thought his song was the most original. He was proud of his sister’s interpretation of him.

There is a video, but it is “lost” somewhere. Thank God!

 

Five Year Anniversary

April 19, 2008 at 2:41 pm | Posted in Family, Photos | 28 Comments
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Five years ago today we began our life together.

Over 2,627,440 minutes that we have been married.

I am so proud to be your wife, your friend, your soul mate.

Thank you for being the man of my dreams.

I love you Baby!

 

You Got Questions. I Got Answers.

April 17, 2008 at 11:05 pm | Posted in Just for fun, Life, Questions & Answers | 24 Comments
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I have loved reading the question and answer posts from Michelle and Dutchess. I have learned so much about my fellow bloggers since they have opened up to have anything asked of them.

What fun!

So, in the spirit of camaraderie let’s have a go at it!

Ask away people. Any questions. You will get a straight answer, if I choose to pick yours.

Anyone, anywhere can participate!

Friends and family from “back home”, Bloggy friends, Real life friends.

You will probably never get this opportunity again so do it now!

Those of you who are out there who are lurking, show yourselves! I don’t care if you are an old enemy (really there are only about two people out there that would qualify for such a title so what are the odds they are you, no really, try me!), a stranger, someone from way-back, whoever- ask away!

*Waiting Impatiently*

It’s All About Love

April 15, 2008 at 10:04 am | Posted in Thoughts | 12 Comments
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When I saw this on Michelle’s page I knew I had to do it to! The only rules are (as taken from Michelle because she explained it so eloquently):

“Make your own list or leave a love of yours in the comments. The only catch? You can’t include a single person you know on your list. No ‘I love the way my husband laughs’ or ‘I love hearing my little girl call for me’.”

“This particular little exercise is about stripping away everyone who defines you and figuring out what you (not his partner; not their mother/daughter/sister/friend) love.”

Loved this Michelle! Thanks for the inspirations to find the things about our own life that brings us happiness.

Here are mine:

I love being at home and feeling like I am getting control of my house and the process of running it.

I love cleaning all day – really cleaning – and sinking into a warm soft bed at night utterly exhausted with my house spotless.

I love a long, hot, shower at the end of the day. I love the way the water hits my face so hard and it feels like it can wash anything away.

I love my old sorority shirt. It has holes and the logo is fading, but it is my favorite.

I love a big glass of water at the end of the day.

I love shaved ice. The kind that you get at Sonic.

I love an Ocean Water from Sonic as a treat, or as a sanity stabilizer.

I love a new purse and the way it opens up my wardrobe.

I love sinking into a bed after a long day with clean pillowcases and a fresh set of sheets.

I love a day when I have nothing to do, nowhere to be, and no one to answer to.

I love old movies. I love big dresses and musical scores.

I love Dove soap. I love the way it reminds me of my Ma’s house.

I love the smell of coffee and the sound of clocks ticking and chiming. I love how those senses take me to my Momo and Grandaddy’s home.

I love sitting on my front porch and looking over the river and farm land and seeing the old church with the white steeple.

I love my wicker chair on my front porch. I love taking a good book and a cup of tea and sitting for hours.

I love it when it rains. I love it when it rains hard.

I love organizing. I love drawer organizers. I love folders. I love labels.

I love getting out of the shower all clean and putting on comfy pajamas.

I love having my hair brushed.

I love the smell of clean laundry.

I love driving in my car all alone with the music very loud.

I love getting letters and cards and packages.

I love it when I am told that I am appreciated.

I love my big comfy couch. I love my big fleece blanket. I love Sunday afternoon naps.

I love the sound of water. I love rivers and oceans.

I love the mountains and hiking. I love being lost in the woods for hours.

I love green pastures. I love watching animals in green pastures.

I love being with people who understand me.

I love grocery shopping. I love putting my groceries in my reusable bags.

I love Netflix, Hulu, and other on-line airing networks.

I love my life.

An Open Letter

April 12, 2008 at 5:43 pm | Posted in Family | 16 Comments
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To the person/persons who left the gates open at the dog park:

In the future when you choose to use our dog park as your personal walking track/sightseeing tour/waterfall adventure please make sure you close all gates associated with dog park use.

If you choose to walk out the back gate of the complex and leave said gate wide open I can guarantee you that the two dogs that will find the open portal to utter danger will be mine. They will scurry out thinking that it is a day in which we choose to allow them to walk down by the river for a lap and quite possibly a swim. But we did not allow them that privilege today because well, the river is in flood stages and the white water current could have swept one of my little babies away in a heartbeat, and that would have made me a bad person to subject my dogs to such danger.

Obviously, that is not something you took into consideration with your flippant disregard for the safety and security of all the animals involved.

After many agonizing moments of hoping that my only children would not go bolting toward the water, which at the moment resembles something out of the movie Deliverance, thinking it would be the same, fun, tame river they were always used to- they proved me wrong.

No amount of ball throwing, calling, threatening, or bribing would deter them from running head first into one of the most dangerous situations they have ever come into contact with. Yes, my dogs are bright and very intelligent, but they only know a calm river and not the fierce swirling water trap they were headed directly for and they were ready to jump in without a care in the world.

Thank God they were deterred at the last moment by another dog and we all managed to corall them back into the safety of the gates.

Therefore, when you walk back through the dog park from the walking trail to get to your car and you again leave the gate open on the path to the river, I make no excuses for the looks of wrath and complete annoyance I sling your way. You are the second rate citizen at a place where the priority is our four-legged children, and you must take their safety seriously and not be so careless with closing the exits and entrances to their domain.

Thank God my husband did not have to dive into the water today to perform yet another rescue attempt on Lily, like he did a few weeks ago. You would have felt the ultimate wrath of an angry mother/wife.

Seriously, get a clue.

Dog lovers everywhere thank you.

Sincerely,

Concerned Mama of Lily and Ellie (aka, the coolest dogs at the dog park)

Shopping With No Mulah

April 11, 2008 at 1:54 pm | Posted in Friends, Fun Times | 25 Comments
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Last night Rosy hosted a fabulous party consisting of a clothes swap/game night/Mexican fiesta.

This in essence is shopping with no mulah involved. We all brought clothes, accessories, bags, and shoes and did a huge Yankee swap.

And I made off with a ton!

After we divulged in enchiladas, sangria, and a sinfully delicious chocolate pizza, a la Mrs. Lilac, we proceeded to swap all of our goodies.

And here is what I scored!

A fabulous new purse.

A great calf-length sweater I have been eying on Rosy all Winter, now it is mine! Hey, it is still a little chilly and there is always next year!

A new cami compliments of Melissa, just in time for Summer!

And. . . . .

Not one. . .

Not two. . . .

But, THREE pairs of shoes!

It really does not get any better than this! And I cleaned out my closet and got rid of stuff I no longer wear.

Win, WIN!

Shout out to all my girls who supplied me with my new editions!

Special note to Mrs. Lilac: You are never allowed to bring said chocolate pizza within five feet of me ever again! I can not stop eating it!

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