A[tipp]ical Thoughts

Was a messy flower bed and two bunches of dead and mutilated landscape flowers.

The guilty party. Ellie said she didn’t do it, but when the ears stand up there is mischief.

It has been a crazy couple of weeks.

I have a day to stop, refresh, and rebound a little bit. Here goes my catching up! I love to get caught up!

First of all to a group of ladies who have helped me so much during the past couple of days. You know who you are and I love you all for being a part of my life! I am so thankful for all of you and appreciate you so much! Enough said.

Also, there have been some major events going on amongst my blogging friends and I wanted to give them some recognition.

To EP, Renee, and Tara for graduating college! Congratulations ladies. Well deserved props.

Da da da da da da. Insert Pomp and Circumstance here.

I know you are all going to rock this world with your greatness. Congratulations!

To my friend who survived another year of college and who is also basically done. Way to Go Sandy Mc!

To my friends who had some awesome celebrity encounters:

Heidi got a huge shout-out on this famous blogger’s/published author’s page. Very cool!

Alexa got up close and personal and partied with Lebron James. Girl, I gots to get me to Cleaveland!

Arielle got a shout-out in Jen Lancaster’s book, Such A Pretty Fat. Hello, significant moment of silence amongst all of us bloggers who are throughly jealous that you not only met Jen, but also, impressed her enough to get mentioned in her book! Please sign my copy!

To Danielle for enjoying her very first Mother’s Day with sweet Eliza!

To Dana for surviving quite possibly the worst case of “bridesmaid’s dress disaster” I have ever heard of and having such a great attitude about it!

To Rachel for surviving moving into her first house and beginning training for the marathon!

For Banana Blondie for becoming a new aunt and for giving me this great award!

I less than three your blog too! I give this to Rosy, Chickbug, Jess, Sleepy Jane, LSpoon, Jessica, Katelin and all of my other friends in this post who have gotten some link love! 

To Ben who took the plunge into first-time home ownership AND was nominated for the Blogger’s Choice Awards! Go Vote for Ben Here!! Totally deserving, both on the blog and the lack of freaking out on your part during the whole loan process!

Angela who just returned from a trip of a lifetime! If you have not seen her pics from Italy go now!

Mrs. Lilac who had a God Moment at just the right time.

To Jess from Delicious Design Stuidos for being so busy she was forced to hire help! Go girl! I think we need to get some of her Delicious Designs some recognition in the design category for Best Blogger Awards. So what if there are hundreds of entires? What great PR for her!

And to my Mom and my Sister-In-Law for a great Mother’s Day yesterday. Aunt Tipp bought Baby Boy his first pair of shoes. I am sure it will be the first of many I buy him!

We spent last night eating and endulging in cheesecake while watching Baby’s first home movie. Nana and Papa couldn’t agree on which way his feet were facing, but whatever. Nana cried. Of course.

Phew! I am all linked out!

No matter what your politics on the Bush White House, none here thank you very much, no one can deny that Jenna Bush is a deserving person.

She has spent the last few years interning with UNICEF in the country of Panama. If you saw the Diane Sawyer special on her and her book, you learned that she never once used her position as the first daughter to be treated differently. She applied, was accepted and worked as an intern just as any other college student would have. She never flaunted her position or used her stature to skip to the top. When many of her students and their families were interviewed by Diane Sawyer, none of them had any idea she was the President’s daughter. To them she was just their beloved teacher. I greatly admire anyone who is a teacher and one in the public school system and teaching abroad no less.

Her wedding was performed before sunset in front of a limestone cross which served as an altar. She looks so happy. I am glad she chose to go the non-traditional, no-fuss route. I thought she looked beautiful. I also love the fact that instead of a ton of bridesmaids she chose to honor the women she trusted most by having them participate in a house party, which is a Texas tradition.

I wish this was the tradition everywhere. No marching, no standing, no tears in front of people. Just give me a seat and let me sit and enjoy the ceremony. The best part of being in a wedding is the prep time just being with your girlfriends enjoying the time before the ceremony. She gave them that without all the “standing-up” drama. And that rocks.

What did you think of the wedding? The dress? The house party vs. attendants?

One of my favorite bloggers, Lindsay at Suburban Turmoil has a running list of people that she hacks off. It is called The Pissed List.

I am thinking I need to come up with my own version of Tipp’s Pissed List.

To add to my list:

Local (or not so local) CPR instructor extraordinaire.

A few months ago I started to research re-certifying in CPR. In my line of work it is just a good idea to keep your certification up to date. Not to mention that to stay current on the very latest CPR techniques, you really should re-take the class every six months. They change techniques so often that it is so hard to keep up with the latest recommendations. I swear that if I found myself in the midst of an emergency and needed to administer CPR, I would argue with myself over the number of breathes vs. the number of compressions. Now it seems that the very latest is not to breathe, but just to do compressions. Last I heard it was more important to breathe than to compress.

I am so confused.

Anyway, I contacted a lady who was recommended to me by a very reputable source.

I called and got no answer. I left a message telling the machine who I was, what my phone number was, and what I needed. I know I reached the right number because it gave me the correct business name, Heartsavers, or something like that. Heartless might have been more appropriate.

Days go by, then a week, I call back. I leave another message giving the same information. Five days go by. I finally hear back from someone. She says they may have a spot in a class open May 10th at 2:00. She will have to check with someone else and give me a call back.

Great sign me up. Someone will call me back with the meeting place and further instructions if they have availability in the class.

Weeks go by. May 7th, three days before the class, I get a voicemail. The lady wants to know why I haven’t RSVPed for the class on the tenth. She goes on to say that the class will cost $100 dollars and that it will be sixty miles from my house. Sixty miles people. It will cost me around $40.00 round trip to just get to the class. Well, maybe $40.00 is a stretch but it is a freaking long way. I call back and explain to her machine that I never received confirmation of the opening in the class, therfore I could not RSVP. I also explained to her that if she did still had an opening, I am no longer interested because the drive was too far and that I would find a class closer to my area. The next day I even called back and left another message asking her if she got my previous message and that I would not be attending the class.

Done. Taken care of. Marked off the list.

Wrong. At 2:10 this afternoon I again get a call from CPR instructor extraordinare asking if I am running late and/or if I forgot about the class.

Hello, miscommunication much?

I called back to relay all the information of my previous phone calls. She was not happy that she was out $100. I explained to her that I left her multiple messages and that I apologize, but since it was so far away and more money then I had paid in the past I chose to go another route.

And she hung up on me.

Wow. I have really done it now.

I have hacked off a public servant.

Let the Pissed List begin.

So, you know you have a cool pastor when he Twitters.

Yep, I follow mine. He always has such great things to say and sometimes he even posts the best ones on his blog. I was reading through the other day when I saw one that hit me.

“People are not cruel, they are just wounded.”

Sometimes things that seem so simple really are the most complex. Yes, that really is true.

That lady who cut me off in traffic, something went so wrong for her this morning that she is in a huge hurry. Maybe she had to leave her newborn for the first time and has tears in her eyes and is just trying to make it to work.

Who am I to judge?

That person who won’t return my emails? It really is most likely nothing personal, they are obviously in their own personal hell and trying to scratch out.  They will let me know when they need me.

Who am I to judge?

That friend who made a comment that hurt my feelings. They were just taking it out on me because they knew they could trust me and they were acting on someone doing them wrong. Heaven knows I have done that to my inner circle time and time again.

Who am I to judge?

I am trying to make every effort to really look at people and see their circumstances and their heart before I jump to conclusions about them. We never know where people are coming from or where they have been. Most likely, it was not a good place and even though they come off hard and cruel, there is always something else there. Some underlying issue that is keeping them from opening up. It is easier to strike at people when you are down as part of a defense mechanism. It is easier to lash out and try to protect yourself for fear that there is more pain to be experienced.

I tend to write people off and not put forth the effort when they act rude and hurtful, but I am going to make an effort to get to the heart of it and see what is inside.

I would, after all, want someone to give me that chance.

Wouldn’t you?

Thanks to all of you for your wonderful advice! You have all been so very helpful.

I love you guys!

And, um, hello, AP has introduced me to my new favorite thing.

STAT COUNTER.

Seriously, fellow bloggers, how am I so late to the game?

My new little map is my favorite thing.

Hello Belgium, Iran, Spain, Chile, Botswana.

This is way too much fun, and might I add a little scary???

If you don’t use Stat Counter, do it. Find out about your readers!

So much better than wordpress stats!

This just in people:

The mean neighbor mom next door waved at me today. Yes, after many many attempts to be friendly and open up the “love thy neighbor” door to her heart, the ice may have cracked.

Today as I was driving away and up by her house I again waved and flashed a smile that said, “I am slightly afraid of the child eyeing me from the driveway, but I still would like to be neighborly.”

And. She. Waved. Back.

Pick me up off of my steering wheel. I am sure I momentarily lost control of the wheel as I tried to regain my composure.

And.

Her Hubby has not yet mowed the grass and my Hubby mowed ours yesterday.

Maybe we are making progress!

OR

Maybe they are reading my blog, OH NO! Maybe they have hacked into my wireless and now have direct feed into my writings.

The Horrors! Things have been relatively quiet around here. Hmm.

Which leads me to something I have been muddling over. Muddling is serious business you know.

After reading Ashley’s post about her Mother-In-Law asking for access to her blog (DO NOT DO IT) it got me to thinking.

How do you decide who to give out your IP address to? For me, I have many real life followers as well as bloggy friends. I have family and friends who read on a regular basis.

It can be hard to decide who to let in your world. No one from my former job ever knew about my blogging, (no Dooce for me thank you very much) except one who is a friend, and a person I would trust my unborn child with, so I gave her my IP because her daughter was thinking of marrying a guy going into the Army. And you all know I have an opinion on that!

Anyway, while it is a great way to keep people updated on the happenings of my day to day, I also find times where I wish I could go back to the anonymous status. There are things I would like to say on a daily basis, but for fear of hurting feelings or misrepresenting a situation, I hold back.

My Mom now also begins every single conversation we have with, “I don’t want to read about this on the blog” and let’s be real, my Mom is very entertaining, but I try to respect her privacy.

My Mom’s cat even sent me an email the other day stating she had an issue with something I said about not being a cat person. Seriously.

Love you Mommy, sorry you are again the example, but there are many more!

There are also things swirling around in my head that I need to get off my chest, but again out of respect  for the people I love and others I don’t, I hold back.

And it is starting to get to me.

This is not the reason I began blogging. I don’t want to feel censored or judged or unable to fully express my true thoughts. I think you guys could give such good feedback on so many things I think and ponder. There are people I am well aware who read my blog that I need to talk about. Not family, just others. Other situations, other problems, other stuff.

Mrs. Lilac and I were talking about the importance of anonymous blogging the other night after a disturbing incident amongst her blogging world.

So, I am thinking of starting another anonymous blog. So here are my questions:

1. 1. Do any of you maintain two different blogs? One for real life and one for outlet purposes? Is this a good idea?
2. 2. How do you decide who you divulge your IP to?
3. 3. For those of you have had to make the switch entirely, how did you cover your tracks and avoid the trackbacks and pings?

Thank you to all for making my first month as Editor so easy and fun!

I thoroughly enjoyed reading all of your posts!

Results are posted on the 20sb Blog here!

Go check out the latest edition and congratulate the winning authors!

The theme for May has yet to be announced. But stay tuned for more, I am really excited about this upcoming edition!

And that is all that I will say until the powers that be convene!

A few months ago my phone kept ringing and ringing and ringing.

Hubby and I had already gone to bed and the phone was all the way downstairs so I just ignored it, that was until literally the sixth or seventh time it rang.

In fear that something was wrong, I got up and went downstairs to retrieve the call. No messages. Seven missed calls. All from my brother.

I call.

Bro: “I just came by your house. Where are you?”

Me: “We are in bed, Hubby has been working tons of overtime. Is something wrong?”

(All in my head I am thinking something better be wrong, you are making me very nervous.)

Me: “Did you ring the doorbell? I didn’t hear anything!”

Bro: “Your going to be an aunt.”

Me: “What!?” Smiles. Wakes Hubby who smiles through his sleepy eyes. So very excited. They had just found out. They drove almost an hour to tell the whole family and no one was available.

He did not by the way ring the doorbell. The whole house was dark so he thought we weren’t home.

And that is how is began. Now many months later my brother calls me this morning to tell me that

It

Is

A

BOY!!!!!!!

Apparently, according to Bro, there was, “no doubt about it.” It seems that they could see even before the tech pointed “it” out.

Now I can start buying all of the cutie patootie little boy clothes that I have been eyeing for quite sometime now! I am not only going to be an aunt, but a godmother as well. So excited. Tons of baby pictures on the way!

I have to go now so I can go buy this:

And this:

And most definitely these:

Loves. Now off to shop!

Somehow tonight, I am really starting to feel my age. I am not one of those people who loathe and bemoan my existance of being a 20 something. I have always just accepted things as they came. I figured that it was just the process of life and that I am where I am, experiencing what I am experiencing, because that is the way it is suppossed to be. I honestly never really know what age I am. I will be in a group and someone will ask me how old I am, and I usually say the wrong age. I just can’t remember. I don’t hold birthdays in such high esteem and I don’t base my life and my self-worth or prowess on a number. Cause that is what it is just a number, right?

Tonight I feel as though my number may have caught up with me just a bit. I am feeling a little pushed into a grown-up world where things are harder, less clear, and unpredicatable. The things you take for granted when you are younger; like health, closeness of friends, and the dreams that you once aspired so hard to acheive seem to be slipping away more and more and no grasping or white knuckle gripping can slow it down.

Going head-first into true adulthood is scary. Levels and experiences change. People change. Curcumstances change. Expectations are left by the way-side. Dreams are put on hold, buried and forgotten or as we would all hope, achieved. How many of the lucky ones really achieve their dreams? And if they do achieve their dreams in one area do they feel as though they have slighted some other facet of their life in which they held great importance? Do they still feel guilty for putting another aspiration on hold? Do they always wonder if they made the right choice in choosing which dream to pursue?

I can speak from experience and say that, yes, I do. I do all of these things. No matter how successful I seem to feel in one area, that leaves another area that has been neglected and in a void. Those areas haunt me like the proverbial “nah nah nah nah nah nah you can’t get me” syndrome. The reminders of things pushed to the wayside for other hopes and dreams. What about those? I analyze, I second-guess, I worry, I fret.

Perhaps it is the over-achiever in me. The hope of having it all. Perhaps that is too much to ask of one life. Still, that is not a good excuse to those things still left lurking and unanswered. They still demand a reprieve.

Some people think I am too old to be at the place I am in my life. Others think I am to young to be at the place I am in my life. Really, what gives? If there is standard to live up to I am the last one to want to fit that mold, but how do you answer the questions of the others who think they have it figured out? When they inquire about this step or that step or where you are in the grand scheme? How do you answer that?

Some people feel as though I got married too young, failed to experience, made a quick decision. Others wonder why I don’t have 2.5 kids and a Graduate degree and the whole path of my life planned out. What is the happy medium?

I have friends and family at so many ends of the spectrum too. Friends with kids, friends who are married, friends who are in school full-time, friends who live with their parents, friends who have been self-sufficient for almost a decade.

At what point do we stop and realize, this is the day that I have been waiting for, planning for, hoping for? Today, I realized that if I had a viewfinder in the past to look at my life and see what I hoped it would be like, it most likely would look something very similar to what I am doing and experiencing now.

So, why can’t I bask in that? Why can’t I just sit and be at peace with the presence of my life - today?

I am trying to do that. This has caused a wake-up call. Well, that and a few other things.

Maybe it is time to stop taking life for granted, because it seems to be slipping by so fast.