The One Where I Prove Why I Was Psych Major

September 3, 2008 at 9:30 am | Posted in Fun Times | 18 Comments
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Observations from people-watching on the balcony at the beach:

1. When it is a red flag and there is a Category 4 hurricane in the gulf, you should not allow your child in the water. It is called rip tides and undercurrents and they will get you. This makes me question your competency as a parent.

2. Don’t pick up the jellyfish. Really don’t. You will regret it.

3. Don’t allow your children to throw objects at the seagulls and laugh sinisterly when they hurt them. Animal cruelty is one of the first signs of labeling a serial killer. Just saying, think about it.

4. If you sit on the beach chairs you are supposed to pay for, you should not attempt to get up and sneak off right before the attendant comes to collect the money. He will track you down.

5. Don’t allow your elderly grandmother into the water during a red flag. See No. 1.

6. If I am sleeping with the balcony door open to hear the waves, I do not appreciate you out at 3am yelling, “Come and get me Gustav, hahhahaha.” Idiot.

7. Surfing with a Category 4 hurricane in the gulf is dangerous stupid. There are no professional surfers in NW FL, therefore you are not qualified to attempt to Hang Ten. Again, see No.1.

8. If you don’t pick up your trash when you leave the beach, I cannot be held responsible for hurling things at you from my balcony. And I will. Biodegradeable things that is.

That is all.



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  1. Wait, I got one…

    Do not be angry at your kid for getting sand on the towel. You are at the beach, he is a kid.

    Do not get angry at your child in his teens and twenties for acting out. He is rebelling against you calling him a “stupid, stupid child” at Seaside Heights that one time.

  2. Yeah for the psych majors!!!

    Even though you were witness to some really dumb people I hope you still had a great time!

  3. Isn’t it amusing/heartbreaking people watching from the balcony?

    I cannot believe people let their kids and grandparents swim in the water! Gustav was kind of a big deal while he was a Cat 4.

  4. #3 you sound like one of my best friends that’s a psych major 🙂

    also, those willing to surf during a hurricane? i’m sure some how this is natural selection coming into play.

  5. Some people should not be allowed to leave the house!

  6. Haaaa, “If you don’t pick up your trash when you leave the beach, I cannot be held responsible for hurling things at you from my balcony. And I will. Biodegradeable things that is.”
    I love you, AAAND That is all. 🙂

  7. #6 made me laugh out loud at my desk. i love combining alcohol and weather.

  8. I got stung by a jellyfish once. So NOT fun.

  9. Ok, this was really funny, and I’m super jealous that you can listen to the waves while in bed.

  10. Hahaha @ the idiot yelling “Come and get me Gustav!”

  11. Aaaah, people-watching.

    #3 was hilarious, btw, great list!

  12. love your list… so agree with them all.. especially #2..(ouch)!!

  13. I wish I was at the beach!

  14. reminds me of the guy that went para sailing or whatever in the middle of a storm and got hurled around. yeah people like that deserve to get hurt, idiots.

  15. Awesomely funny! I frequent the beach often in Fl and see the exact things you mentioned. I can relate.

  16. people contaminnate beachs on a global scale should be left to the birds and other like creatures.Alas,your thoughtful comments are for thoughtless people,is anyone listening?

  17. Oh people can be crazy!

  18. hahahahaha love it!

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