Why Becoming a Vegetarian Might Kill Me

August 19, 2008 at 7:05 pm | Posted in Life | 33 Comments
Tags: Food

I really hate to even say that I am attempting to become a vegetarian. I know that once I say that I will have the overwhelming urge for chicken wings and I will fall into failure and dismay all of my fellow vegetarian friends. But on the advice of one of them who gave me some very fabulous resources, I have now drastically reduced the amount of meat I am eating. It is a start right?? I am having some major trouble with the seafood though. Crab and salmon in my sushi is a must, and I fear I will never truly be a vegetarian.

However, in my quest to cut out some meat, I along with hubby have also made the transition to soy milk, and the next step is to give up cheese. Let’s not hold our breathe people. I love my cheese, even though it does not always love me. But that is for another time.

Now on to why vegetarianism is killing me. Tonight I came home and was in the process of making a fantastic salad. I went to my refrigerator to retrieve my essentials: lettuce, cucumbers, peppers, onions, and the one that almost did me in-the tomatoes. I know what you are thinking. No, I am not in the throws of a very tardy bout of salmonella. I am not nauseous and wishing a quick and sudden death due to the horrible and yes, now non-existent outbreak.

When I tell you this I am being dead serious. The tomatoes hurt me. There that is it. I am so embarrassed. It is like the vegetables are seeking revenge on me for eating more of them in my quest to save a few animals.

Welcome to the ridiculousness I call my life.

As I opened my veggie drawer in my refrigerator, I suddenly hear the loudest pop ever. Kind of like the sound you hear when a gun fires you pop a can of biscuits, except this one happened right in front of my left eye. The plastic container which held my beautiful ready-chopped tomatoes from Publix my local store had somehow taken in so much air that once I opened the drawer and the pressure changed it became like a soda bottle shaken too much and the lid popped of. I am not going to lie, I almost peed on myself from the sudden noise. Then I realized that I had this horrible burning sensation in my eye. As I tried to make it to the sink to perform the emergency eye irrigation, I was so panicked because I thought I was blinded for life that I stubbed my toe on the island in my kitchen and lo and behold I had two injuries.

I. Kid. You. Not.

Do you know how hard it is to try to bandage a hurt toe with one eye? Let’s just say it’s not easy.

I will never look at Veggie Tales the same. They are out to get me.