The One With the Snake

May 24, 2008 at 7:36 pm | Posted in Family, Photos | 17 Comments
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Or alternatively titled, “The One Where Ellie Saves The Day.”

Woke up this morning and Hubby rolled over and said, “Let’s go canoeing.”

It was the first real opportunity to go without the water being freezing cold, so we went. We loaded up Lily to go to Papa and Nana’s house to stay, because we learned the last time we took her canoeing that she is, “not that kind of girl.” She about had a panic attack when we put her in the boat. Everything about her demeanor screamed, “I have no idea why I am in a floating death-trap!” Ellie, on the other hand, loved every minute of it and took every opportunity to jump out of the boat and swim laps around us.

So, Lily went to P & N’s (code name for my parents because when we say “Papa and Nana” they go running for the car like there is no tomorrow and demand a trip across the hill to their house to run in the woods) and Ellie to the river with us. Three bottles of vitamin water, two Subway sandwich meals, and a bottle of SPF 50, yes, 50 (we are whiteys), and we were on our way.

Busy day at the local canoe place, obviously it was a Holiday weekend. We waited about forty-five minutes and we were off. We always drive to the put-in site so we don’t have to wait for the shuttle. Ellie knew exactly where she was going and she jumped right in the boat like she was Davey Crockett’s dog. We cast off of the shore and we were on our way. The couple next to us also brought their dog and she proceeded to swim half way down the course. Ellie preferred to sit in front of me with her paws on the bow pretending like she was steering. I can’t blame her for not wanting to swim, the water was cold! I braved it down one swimming stretch just to prove to Ellie that I could swim too. She ran along the bank nervously watching me. I am pretty sure she thought I was going to drown and she would be forced to rescue me. It is no joke that I call her “my faithful one.” She won’t let me out of her sight most days and she takes my safety very seriously.

So much so that I think she is more concerned with my well-being more than Hubby and here is why. About half-way down the river we were floating along enjoying the scenery and I had kicked back and put my legs up on the sides to sun, when I saw it.

The HUGEST water moccasin I have ever seen. Now, I have seen my share of them. Heck, we live right by the river and we see them every time we go down and get in the boat. It is not uncommon to see them “jumping” from tree to tree as you float down river, but today we saw the mother of all snakes, in the water, coming right for us.  

This thing’s head was so far out of the water that it could have taken a bite out of my foot if it wanted. It literally came out of nowhere. All of a sudden it was right at the front of the boat staring at me. My first instinct was to scream. For a split second I really thought it was going to jump in the boat and get us (or should I say git, we do, after all, live in the country).

As soon as I saw it coming for me all I could get out was, “Snake!”

I grabbed Ellie by the nape of the neck and yielded my paddle in case it lunged at her or me. She proceeded to jump in front of me and place herself between me and the snake. Honorable. I love this dog. She was protecting me. No way was a mean snake gonna get me with Ellie in the boat.

“What? Where?” said Hubby in his very unconcerned voice. After all, we see them all the time.

And then he saw it.

And he screamed, like a girl. Like a four year old little girl.

Holy DAHHHHHHHH!”

He not only screamed like a girl, he jumped out of his seat and lunged as far to the back of the boat as he could get and left his two women to fend for themselves. Here I was ready to take on this monstrous water mocassin with a canoe paddle and he was literally about to jump ship.

What. the. heck??!

“I’m sorry” he said over and over, “but it was looking right at us.”

“Really, really, was it now?! Who do you think it would have gotten first? Oh yeah, that would have been me. And where would you have been? Swimming away to safety! I hope you are proud of yourself, you manly man you!”

I laughed so hard and I made so much fun of him the rest of the trip. I will continue to do so for a very long time. As we floated down the river and talked to the other boaters of course I said, “Hey, did you hear my Hubby scream like a girl?”

“It was a very manly scream” he kept insisting.

No. It. Wasn’t.

And that is why I love him. He can scream, like a girl, and still insist he is manly.

Super Ellie

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17 Comments »

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  1. HA! That is hillarious! I would definitely not let him forget this one!!! Super Ellie is adorable!

  2. Haha! That’s incredible! I’m glad the snake left y’all alone and how cute is it that Ellie was going to protect you? Adorable. I hope that whenever I get my dog, it will do something like that for me in case I am ever in danger…

  3. Bahaha! Good thing for dogs…their screams are at least silent even when girly screams are in order.

  4. Yeah for Ellie!! How brave! Hubby, not so much.

    My dog, Dingo Girl would’ve left paw prints on my face in her attempt to crawl over me to get to the back of the canoe. But madly I love her chicken-livered self anyway.

  5. ohhh…I love when guys show a little fear. so funny.

  6. Oops! “But I love her chicken-livered self madly.”

  7. I laughed so hard I cried at this one!

  8. Aww.

    Go Ellie!

    I wish I could hear that scream. I’m sure it was HILARIOUS.

  9. YAY ELLIE…. what a brave pup!

  10. Aw Ellie! She’s a hero!

  11. aw, i loved your story! it was so funny and you have such a personal way of writing. not to mention water snakes sound pretty exotic to this little asian urban girl!

    Ellie sounds llike a real hero 🙂 and i’m sure the hubbie is too, even if he lapsed for a few seconds there…

  12. Great post Tipp!! I laughed so hard…after I was completeky freaked out! 😉 Ellie is GAWGIS!

  13. Oh nooooo! What a nightmare, thank god your Ellie is a life-saver – too hilarious about the scream… thank god it’s recorded here so he’ll never forget it! x M

  14. Hahahaha!!! Is this the same man that survived 18 months in Iraq? 🙂 I guess we all have our weak point.

  15. What a great story! LOL! My DH would have done the same thing…especially if it was a spider. Thanks for sharing & I hope you had a great weekend!

  16. Haha, you crack me up =)

  17. […] great surprise when we found out my nephew was in fact A BOY! While canoeing with family I realized my Ellie would die for me before my Hubby would. And all the anticipation came to realization when the […]


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