Good Stuff

May 9, 2008 at 8:50 am | Posted in Thoughts | 14 Comments

So, you know you have a cool pastor when he Twitters.

Yep, I follow mine. He always has such great things to say and sometimes he even posts the best ones on his blog. I was reading through the other day when I saw one that hit me.

“People are not cruel, they are just wounded.”

Sometimes things that seem so simple really are the most complex. Yes, that really is true.

That lady who cut me off in traffic, something went so wrong for her this morning that she is in a huge hurry. Maybe she had to leave her newborn for the first time and has tears in her eyes and is just trying to make it to work.

Who am I to judge?

That person who won’t return my emails? It really is most likely nothing personal, they are obviously in their own personal hell and trying to scratch out.  They will let me know when they need me.

Who am I to judge?

That friend who made a comment that hurt my feelings. They were just taking it out on me because they knew they could trust me and they were acting on someone doing them wrong. Heaven knows I have done that to my inner circle time and time again.

Who am I to judge?

I am trying to make every effort to really look at people and see their circumstances and their heart before I jump to conclusions about them. We never know where people are coming from or where they have been. Most likely, it was not a good place and even though they come off hard and cruel, there is always something else there. Some underlying issue that is keeping them from opening up. It is easier to strike at people when you are down as part of a defense mechanism. It is easier to lash out and try to protect yourself for fear that there is more pain to be experienced.

I tend to write people off and not put forth the effort when they act rude and hurtful, but I am going to make an effort to get to the heart of it and see what is inside.

I would, after all, want someone to give me that chance.

Wouldn’t you?



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  1. A pastor that twitters – whoa now!

  2. That is such a great outlook to have! Generally most people are not purposely mean or spiteful. There is usually something going on behind the scenes. I am going to try to look at it that way too. Thanks!

  3. i try to not pass judgment on the people who irritate me, but sometimes there are just too many! 🙂

  4. That is indeed a nice outlook to have, except I think I’m far too cynical and impatient to ever believe it. But I highly respect anyone who can just forgive other people for those minor annoyances, because I certainly can’t!

  5. I try, most of the time, to think about where people are coming from, and that helps me be less impatient. It’s definitely hard, though, to try and consider the circumstances they might be dealing with, when they certainly haven’t given the same thought to YOUR circumstances. Turning the other cheek is HARD!

  6. First of all, how do you get the ‘possibly related posts’ on there? I can’t figure it out!

    Second, I completely understand. Remembering that it’s not always personal or someone might be going through something rough and they didn’t mean to be so rude or hurtful is hard to do at times. I think I need a reminder of that tattooed on my hand.

  7. I think I’d want that effort from people I know. But, if a stranger or someone I don’t know all that well started pushing me for what’s wrong or why I look so tired or why I cut that person off in traffic … well, I might shut down/change the subject versus open up. Keep us updated, though, and let us know how it works out!

  8. It’s something that is so hard to remember in the moment, but I do try not to always just assume that everyone else is the asshole and I’m the victim! Especially when it comes to traffic irritations. I mean seriously, we all make stupid moves out there on the road from time to time, so I try to remember that when someone is driving too fast or too slow or cuts me off or runs a light. Nobody is perfect, least of all me!

  9. that’s so cool that your pastor twitters. and i think we should all try and have that attitude, it’s definitely a great one to practice 🙂

  10. I try and think the samething…that something has happened to someone to cause them to treat other people badly or be short with them. BUT when it becomes a habit, whatever happened to them to cause them to treat other people that way is just an excuse!

  11. I totally agree. The world would be a very different place if we could all see things as they are, not what they appear to be.

    Thank you for writing this. I think you said it beautifully. 🙂

  12. I try to make a habit of being optimistic about someone’s reasons for wronging me.

    But sometimes it’s hard.

    I’ll keep this in mind…

  13. It’s so hard for me not to fly off the handle when I feel I’ve been wronged. But you make a great point Tipp, and I always take something away with me when I read your blog. 🙂 Thanks!

  14. Totally gonna add that to my facebook quotes.

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