Tales From the Cul-de-sac Part I

April 30, 2008 at 8:49 pm | Posted in Thoughts | 24 Comments
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So the last time you all got a peek at my neighborhood, you met all the eclectic characters that will surely keep us all entertained. The antics in this part of the world never cease to amaze me.

  • Tuesday morning I was late to work. Oversleep? No. No Alarm? No. Unable to find the correct ensemble? Okay, maybe, but that was not the reason. I ran out the door, keys in hand, water in tow, open the garage door, and low and behold I am trapped. I am literally barricaded in my driveway by an ambulance and a police car. I turned into a neighbor reminiscent of a Desperate Housewives crazy person and decided to hang out and see what all the commotion was at the neighbor’s house. Might I just say that this is the second time in about a month that the po-po (yes, I said that) has camped out on my end of the street. Seems that little boy next door has gotten a tad bit too good at running away and the police have been called to chase him down a number of times. The kid is back at home. Not sure why they needed an ambulance. If I had run away my dad probably would have requested an ambulance too due to the severe beating I would have endured upon my return home. Perhaps they were just being proactive.
  • Just yesterday I returned home to a ladder leaning against my tree on the adjoining property side of the little delinquents. I was intrigued. I sat out on my back deck to “read” with my chair curiously turned toward those little rug rats waiting to see what they were up to. Apparently they had decided to chase a squirrel out of my tree and trap it against the brick of their home in a cardboard box. Something tells me that they were not wanting to take it to school for show and tell. As I began to picture the horrible fate that most likely was awaiting this little animal, I see the dad step in and proceed to scream at them at the top of his lungs, ” Are you crazy, it could have rabies!” Seriously? Yeah, that was the reason to let the poor thing go. I am starting to understand why these kids are acting this way. I am shuddering every time I see them. They remind me of the scary kid from Toy Story 2 who dismembered all the toys. Scary.
  • I saw the neighbor who you all think is running a meth lab. This is the first sighting of her in 2.5 years! I really did not think she existed! She was weeding her front lawn. The no-grass present front lawn. She was out there for about five minutes.
  • The neighbor who mows his one acre yard with the John Deere tractor has broken it out twice in the past week. Sometimes he rides it down the road just to turn around and bring it back. I find this very interesting. Hubby says it is like his sports car. Apparently he is nursing a mid-life crisis-country style. Yee-haw.
  • Neighbor up the street, next door neighbors to the delinquents, has a flapping problem. The siding is falling off of the house in the back and it is keeping us up when it is windy. We will begin a count of the days to see how long it takes them to fix it. My guess is this could go years. Seriously, years. Years, because we never see them either. I think they are afraid of the delinquents and refuse to come out.
  • We also have a war brewing. A serious war. Everytime Hubby mows our lawn, delinquent dad next door decides to mow his the very next day. I am literally talking hours people. It was like a weird self-control thing that he has to have the shorter grass. Hubby, being the fun-loving guy that he is, decides to mess with him and literally mows the lawn three times last week, just to see what happens. This man breaks out his lawn mower every single time to make his grass 1cm shorter than ours. As if that is not enough, he breaks out the blower to blow the clippings into my yard. Whatever, I call it fertilizer. People are hysterical.

Since I made all of you love Nashvegas too, don’t ya wanna come visit and spy on the neighbors with me? Come on ya know ya wanna. There is more than enough bloggy material to go around. Seriously, come and see me.

We could have fun!

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24 Comments »

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  1. holy crap that’s some good stuff! hilarious.

    i think that you should just put a 24 hour webcam up or something.

  2. omg. did I like miss the previous blog post to this? This is HILARIOUS! Definately an on-going soap opera 🙂

    about the grass thing- my dad is *kinda* like that, not so crazy as your neighbor apparently- but if our neighbors mow, we’ll mow a day or 2 later. My dad insists its because he wants the lawns to look ‘evenly cut’. But if your neighbor purposely cuts it shorter? Weird. Maaaybe it’s just his blade setting?

    keep us posted with the neighbor stuff. love it. and if i ever get the time- I would totally love to hit up Nashville with ya 🙂

  3. You are making me miss my old neighborhood in Arkansas! I used to always watch the old couple across the street, they were always doing yard work…ALWAYS!

  4. OMG those kids next door are future ax murderers. You will be one of those people in documentaries who say things like “they just seemed like typical boys growing up. I never would have guessed they could do something like this”

  5. this could totally be a tv show! i love it!

  6. YOU are HILARIOUS! 🙂

  7. Wow isn’t it just really fun to watch people, especially crazy ones.

  8. Um, this post makes me kind of want neighbors and kind of want to become a hermit. Sheesh.

  9. Haha, that’s hilarious!
    And I wanna come to Nashville! Ah, that’d be so much fun

  10. omg that is too funny. I’m trying to get boyfriend to take me to Nashvegas! And i might be going down there for a work event in September!!

  11. So, they say your friends are a reflection of you, right? So, what do your neighbors say about you? I mean, I’m just asking?

    Or, better stated. If your neighbors were spying on / gossiping about you, what would they be whispering?

  12. Oh, all of this is priceless. Between the squirrel-catching and lawn-mowing, I would be permanently glued to the antics of the neighbors, if I were you.

    This makes me wish I was able to observe more Strange Neighbor Behavior– hard to do in an apartment complex.

  13. Oh my goodness that is too funny!!

  14. that is too funny that your hubby mowed the lawn 3 times in one week to see what he would do! and even funnier that the guy came out and mowed every time!! that’s OCD if i’ve ever heard it.

  15. “If I had run away my dad probably would have requested an ambulance too due to the severe beating I would have endured upon my return home.”

    Hahahaha!

    Them some crazy neighbors you have.

  16. That was a freakin’ great read! I love all the little blurbs. You do have freaks for a neighborhood–and it’s only a cul-de-sac!

  17. Alexa- I could prob make a ton of money on it!

    AP- Come on down!

    Auburn Kat- I used to live in Ark too and I had the exact same kind of neighbor there!

    Dutchess- if I am ever interviewed I may say something more like “I knew it all along!”

    Sandy- you come too!!!

    Heidi- let me know and we will hit the town!

    Megan- I learned more about my neighbors through the walls when I lived in an Apt! Not fun!

    Nila- they would say I have two yappy dogs and that I sit on my porch chair and talk constantly on my cell phone and that they couldn’t figure out my schedule. I come and go at the weirdest times!

  18. That’s hilarious!

  19. That’s hilarious! Don’t you just love people watching? I do it all the time too.

  20. Jeez- crazy mowing neighbor. It’s too funny that your husband likes to taunt him by mowing 2-3 times a week!

  21. Wow…all this needs to be complied into a book somehow.

  22. Too funny!!

  23. Oh, your neighbors sound fun and hilarous. I agree with Larissa, these NEED to be compiled into a book!

  24. Hahaha! This is great! I think it’s so cool that you have all these facinating (weird but facinating) neigbours. lol I don’t even take note of ours. Those kids are scary though. 🙂


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