The End of an Era

April 3, 2008 at 7:41 am | Posted in Thoughts, Work | 19 Comments

Yesterday was my last day at my job. We will call it the end of an era. I am pretty sure that my tenure with that particular organization is now truly done. Hubby is very happy about that. It has been a rewarding road, but one that has truly taken a toll on my health and my well-being. I trudged on daily hoping that the small things I could do and give my families each day might make a difference in the lives of them and their children. I feel a responsibility to my co-workers. I feel guilty for leaving them with more than they could bear. We joked daily that the we, being the sane ones, were slowly being chipped away as we watched person after person slowly fade away.

I left yesterday feeling like I had done my best, tried my hardest, and honestly made a good-faith effort to make my time in the position meaningful and life-changing.

I have come to learn that I am yet again disappointed by the ability of other people to effect my happiness in my career. I have been struggling for a very long time to overcome my anxiety and my concerns in my job. There are things that really began to haunt my psyche on a daily basis. Being involved with and trying to work with people who are convincingly dishonest, flippantly uninvolved, and frightneningly manipulative finally took its toll on me.

I just simply could not do it anymore. I will no longer stand by as I see people misrepresented, misinformed, and mistreated. It feels so good to let go and just feel peace. I feel for many of my friends whom I have left behind. They are truly stuck. They are concerned with their own reputations and character being tarnished, they are worn-down by the work load given to them to make it lighter for one person, they are tired of picking up the pieces, and they are angered when they are witness to people being treated wrongly or not offered great service.

I am always amazed by people who work so hard to work so little.  People who spend most of the day covering up and hiding and telling different stories to different people when just doing the job and doing it professionally and completely seems so much easier. I am amazed (and appalled) by a person who can look two different people in the eyes in a matter of minutes and tell two very different stories and convince them both. I am concerned for the people she will come into contact with for the rest of her life. Her path of destruction is growing wider each day, and she will not be corrected or deterred. Her ability to manipulate and coerce is uncanny, her lack of work ethic is saddening, and her ability to negatively effect so many is sickening.

Trust me, we tried to make it right. Many times we tried to fix it. The powers that be continue to choose blindness and mediocrity and stay uninvolved. It will come to a crashing halt and it will be heart breaking to those of us who tried desperately for so long to keep the sinking ship afloat.

I grew weary of the bailing process. It got the best of me. I threw in the bucket, the towel, and the paddle. I did keep my life preserver and I am floating away to better things and a life that is again my own and not filled with negative people, unethical behavior, and daily strife.

“Tomorrow is another day”

Scarlett, I made it! I have been looking forward to my tomorrow for so long, and it is here.

Good things are in store!